Questions answered....sort of

So last time we talked, I was trying to determine how many calories I should consume in a day. Kristi said, I should ask my trainer, because that's what I'm paying him for. Mac said I should ask a nutritionist, because he could guess, but doesn't know for sure. So, I guess I'm out to find a nutritionist now.

I did weigh in last weekend and found that I had lost 8.5 pounds. This was great news, as I was expecting to only have lost one or two. I really would have loved a 10, but I don't want to be unrealistic. One to two pounds a week is supposedly healthy, and I'm within that bracket. Plus I've gained a lot of muscle, so that counts for something too, right?

Well, I've had a couple of revelations since I last wrote. One is that I don't need to eat the exact same amount of calories every day. I need to mix it up. Staying within a certain range of course, but if I've only eaten 1595 calories on a 1600 calorie diet, I don't need to chew a stick of gum before bed to get the extra 5 calories in. LOL So, overall, I need to lighten up. Though I lost a good amount of weight, I can't help but thinking if I had been eating three or four hundred more calories a day would it have made me loose more? That seems absurd, but apparently you have to find your sweet spot. So, I'm searching for that, but overall, I'm just going to still enjoy eating . I've been stressing over it too much, and stress can make you gain weight too! LOL It's an endless stream of things I have to watch. This is NOT easy. LOL But, I'm doing it anyway, and this week I really believe I can do this! I can go all the way!

The second revelation came while trying on a pair of jeans. As I have been several sizes during the course of my adult life, I have accumulated an entire drawer full of jeans in every size, shape and color. When I start to lose weight, the first thing I do, is open that drawer and start trying them on. I was frustrated to the point of tears when every day last week I kept putting on this one pair of jeans and they wouldn't fit. They were just one size smaller, and though I know sometimes it can take up to 15 pounds to lose a size, I thought I should at least be able to zip them up, even if I still had some muffin top going on! After a ten minute scene that should be put in a movie (staring someone else of course) involving gritted teeth, heavy breathing, acrobatic moves Circ de Sole would be impressed by, and eventually a bleeding finger, I collapsed in utter failure. Peeling the denim from my legs, I mashed them into a wad of fabric, threw them on the floor and showed them who was boss, but stomping on them with both feet, issuing a most painful punishment.

As I sat there on the edge of my bed, the sweat just beginning to trickle down my forehead, a thought occurred that I wanted to dismiss immediately, for fear that it was in fact true. I slowly slumped over to the pile of faded blue, reached down, picked them up, and focused all my attention on the label just inside the waistband. I expected the label to mock me, and tell me I was fat, but instead it reached out a comforting hand, as blue jeans are supposed to do, and said, "Don't worry..I'm TWO sizes smaller." Yes, that's right, the jeans I was trying so desperately to fit into were two sizes smaller than the ones I currently don. I laughed out loud at myself in the mirror, standing there holding these jeans that had been the source for such drama. Silly Leah. What a relief! Unfortunately, I didn't have a pair to try on in the desired size, so I suppose I will have to actually go into a store. Hopefully they'll fit so I won't disturb the "normal" people trying on jeans in the next dressing room.