Steppin' on the devil

I apologize for the lack of updates lately. I've had some major computer problems, and it prevented me from keeping up with my food journal and my blog. It really affected me mentally not being able to talk about how I was feeling. The result was a slight slip up in my routine.

Last week was impossible. I only ended up at the gym two days out of the week! Mostly this was because of extra time at work, but I won't lie, there were two times I could have gone and didn't. I was exhausted, but I realize just because your tired, doesn't mean you get to bail out. If I'm looking at this like a commitment to marriage, then two weeks in, I stopped trying. Wow!

Well, it's a new week, and I'm off to a good start. I'm blogging and keeping up with my food journal. I had a hardcore session with Big Mac very early this morning, and I'm headed out the door now to do more cardio. I forked over $300 this morning to purchase 10 more sessions. That should take me through the first part of November. That was a major sacrifice for me, and I'm just praying that God honors that sacrifice as well as the physical ones I'm making, because I am doing this all out of obedience.

I mentioned a little while ago, that I was going to weigh in and see what I had lost. After one week, I lost two pounds. I was so upset that it wasn't a larger number, so I didn't share it with you. I wasn't being completely true to this process of sharing. I know two pounds is healthy, but I worked my tail off and ate better than I have in years that week. I know from previous diets that often the first week is a big one, and it can really help get your momentum going. I was really hoping for five or six pounds to boost my drive. I talked to Kristi about it, and she calmed me down. I also asked Mac how often I should weigh in, and he made it very clear that he didn't want me weighing in for another three or four weeks. I was shocked.

So, since that first week, I haven't weighed, but I need to see some results! I'm on my fourth week now, though as Kristi pointed out, last week nearly didn't count, I still have made a major life change, and I'm not seeing the change reflected in the mirror. I'm going to wait until next Friday, but then I'll weigh in, and give you an update. I find myself being afraid that I won't lose weight. That somehow this won't work for me, like there's something wrong with my body, and I can't ever be normal. I know I've just got to keep my head down and keep going, but I didn't expect it to be this hard up front. I expected it to be hard around Christmas, or after I lose my first twenty-five or thirty. That's always been my wall before. I feel like this time I'm starting by climbing a wall.

Speaking of climbing....today Mac wanted to do something a little different, so we did some circuit training. I've never done this before, and I think I like it. You're never on one thing for very long, so you don't get bored. However, there was one part I didn't like about today. "The Devil." Well, that's not it's real name. It's really called a summit trainer. As in, climbing to a summit, but I think that name is a little misleading and innocent for a machine of it's torture rating. I've watched other gym rats struggle to ride this beast for weeks now. Even the most avid body builder broke quite a sweat, and his face was contorted in a way as if to say "I'm tough, I should be able to this. Why is this so hard?" I made the mistake of telling Mac I was afraid of it. Note to self: "Shut up stupid!" Mac grinned, which I now recognize as a sign of evil, and he took me over to the machine. I hopped on thinking, "Maybe it won't be so bad." Silly, silly girl...I went three rounds with the giant demon, which is to say three minutes. My heart rate skyrocketed to 165. Let's all remember a normal heart rate is like 70 something.

Anyway, Mac sort of laughed as I prayed. He then informed me that the devil will now be a part of my daily routine. For a moment I thought about downgrading the name of the machine to a mere demon, and making Mac's new nickname the devil instead. Calm down...calm down...I am not actually calling anyone the devil. Sigh..anyway..I've decided maybe I can turn this into something spiritual. When I'm on that machine, I think I'm actually going to think of the devil's head, the real one, underneath my foot, and I'm going to keep squashing him and squashing him until I can't walk anymore. LOL

Until next time...